This may come as a disappointment, but Milaca residents will have to learn the truth sooner or later, so here it is: Duke (he’s also Prince) Harry’s and his bride’s “new summer home” won’t be located here in Milaca after all. For anyone who heard that they were headed our way, that could have been due to a misreading of a recent front-page headline in the Star which divulged the royal newlyweds’ summer plans.
To bring everyone up to speed on this, you will recognize the Star as one of the tabloids whose astonishing headlines compete for our attention while we wait in line at the market checkout counter. Because last week’s headline appeared near the bottom of the front page—a position which can be partially obscured by other tabloids and their own screaming headlines. The result could have read: “MEGHAN & HARRY’S NEW SUMMER HOME! -- MOVING TO” (the rest having been cut off).
In fact, the missing location was “Malibu!!!” rather than “Milaca!!!” But local grocery shoppers can be forgiven if they assumed the exciting missing place name was ours—especially if the register line moved ahead before they could double-check.
Even so, since the Star’s front page photo montage included shots of Meghan and Harry superimposed on a picture of their supposed “$80 MILLION PALACE!,” Milaca readers familiar with Southern California might have recognized it as the Getty Villa rather than one of our local palaces. The picture is indeed of a property in Malibu—but this one is actually not for sale since it’s a public museum. In other words, Meghan and Harry, like the rest of us, will have to confine their visits to 10 am-9pm weekdays. Common sense also dictates that the royal couple will probably choose a summer home that’s closer to Sussex than to Milaca (although I will try to make myself available to help if they change their minds).
In the meantime, for any of your own real estate matters that are more rooted in reality, give me a call. I promise not to divulge your plans to the Star!
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